2/3/15

I'm a constant work in progress, i drink a few beers here and there, but i do me and let everyone else do them, I'm nonjudgmental, I'm not qualified to pass judgement, or access anyone, but can say honestly is I'm coming up to 3 years drug free, and I've found so many beautiful quality's i had forgotten even existed, and a few new ones i never knew, but honestly i wouldn't change a thing, addiction was part of my past, as well as my future, one must never forget from where they came from, maybe just focus on where their truly going,and decide just how to eventually get there.

1/29/2015

 You  never say when your little, your going to grow up to be a junkie, nor do your parents know that this is to be a true fact just waiting to be revealed, they never stop loving you any less, not everybody has the misfortune of finding this to be true, judgement can be so cruel at times, but i'd be willing to bet that if they walked a mile in my boots, they'd see life differently, life is never fair, nor promised, but i'm stating a true fact for everything i gave up in my past, i've been blessed with more 3x more, i'm grateful for the family i have, the true friends i have, the people who believed in me, when i didn't even believe in myself anymore, i guess it can be said that it's hard to see sunshine at the end of the day, when all your eyes have known is darkness, i'm feeling the sunshine and it feels ever so good,i look forward to everyday, wondering what it has in store for me, addiction is part of my past as well as my future, one must never forget where they come from, just wonder where their truly going, i was strung out, broken, and so truly lost, but now i am found. Pray for the addict still suffering, hate the disease. Let us all try and educate our youth, for without we have no future, love all you can, cherish all you love. It's my sincerest hope that thru my words, someone will find their way.

10/5/2014

 " life after and during recovery "

If you think, it is so easy to live, you should try it,during recovery it is very well possible that while living your life you will find yourself. it is my sincerest hope that you find what your seeking, you might end up liking what you find.

10/3/2014

Well here i am, once again, professing my gratitude, to being given another chance at life, a drug free life, if only i had stuck it out, on the to many numerous  attempts previously i might be a lot farther on my goals, but the sad truth is i didn't have any goals. Nor did i care about anything but piercing a needle thru my calloused skin , it isn't easy to admit these true facts , but it would be alot harder to deny them.

It's been a hell of a ride, but truly one i am so very grateful for, just waking up with a clear mind, never feeling like i had gotten stomped on the night before by Kevin Nash of the WWE. nor feeling the so painful effects of withdrawals.

I was never a weekend warrior to say, never had a dime a day habit, everything i did, i did in excess and what i wouldn't do if i could magically turn back time , that would be ever so sweet. But yes i live in the real world, and we all know that it could never be that way, maybe in a movie, but alas here i sit thinking of what to write.

Nor am i saying you must life your life like this, what i am saying is using hard drugs destroys your life , and shortens your life expectancy, if you continue living your life with drugs as your master these are what i promise, death,addiction,poor health,limited true friends,incarceration.

If you love music learn to play an instrument, if you love to draw buy some paper, if you love to write buy some a writing tablet.

Living your life drug free isn't for every one, what I'm saying is it works for me. if you don't like what i write don't read it.

please remember always, life isn't fair, nor is tomorrow promised, love all you can, and cherish all you love.

BR

9/3/2014

I have often reflected back to times gone, but yet the memories remain. Those that remain are very special and i choose to hold them close to my heart. I'm making new ones , and i keep trying to persevere , but at times I'm willing to admit, i seem lost, but lost in a good way. It's a surreal feeling just knowing how powerful words can be, thru my words i am able to get lost , but always find my way back , a sort of power check. I'm searching for so much , and truly yearning for so much more , faith and fate, i have so much faith it's unbelievable at times I'm amazed, fate remains unknown, but i welcome what life has to offer me, and am grateful for a second chance, maybe it's true that all lions roar , when it's time, all I'm searching for is a simple life without the strife.

9/3/2014

At what time in your life do you stop giving a fuck about what everyone thinks and start caring about just working on your faults ? It's a very hard process, but truth be told it's such a rewarding prezzie. And since i started cleaning house for every thing I've let go of my past, I've been rewarded with something more , one for one they are all being revealed, I'm not sure, but i don't think it really matters where you started, it's just matters where you  end up. Live while you can, Love while your able.

A Moment Of Silence

After over 25 years of hard living, destroying my life,today I'm blessed with another chance at living life as it was truly intended, but not a day passes that i don't reflect upon hidden memories of all the friends I've lost thru addiction , my sincerest hope is that they have finally found peace, after all there not really gone, they've just gone home.